AHAHAHAHAHAHAH AOL I HAVE BEATEN YOU!
I'd been trying to enable ICS (internet connection sharing) for a while now, but I was having trouble with my integrated network interface. That is, it wasn't showing up in my device manager. After spending an hour watching some outsourced retard click around my computer doing nothing helpful, the rep. instructed me to disable my diskette drive from CMOS. He then told me he'd call me tomorrow to see if it was working.
But even that didn't work.
But then it hit me! Perhaps the integrated network interface was disabled in CMOS?! Turns out it was.
Once I got my PS3 talkin' to my PC, setting up ICS was a breeze from there.
Downloading the latest PS3 firmware update as I write.
I am SO psyched.